Understanding things


For most of my life, I have been too proud to have things explained to me. I've put faith in myself to figure things out, and have asked only for guidance, when for anything.

I credit this inclination with my mental independence and intelligence, in whatever amount I have them, but fear it's limited me.

I read Samuel Beckett's Nohow On this weekend. When I finished, I did something I rarely do: I tried to find a critical synopsis of the works to read while they were still fresh in my mind.

How differently do we benefit from the understanding of things and the awareness of things? In what ways do these different types of knowledge hinder us?

I fear we are aware of too much and do not understand enough. This is one reason I am an advocate for a decentralized internet.

When I become aware of something in abstraction, I am left to concretize and thereby understand it by and of myself. As I'm doing this, so are you. The result is two understandings of one thing.

This is beautiful and horrible.